Discussion Forum

#1

• きりぞう
• mail
• 2026/09/18 08:20

My mother has dementia. It’s quite severe, and she can’t remember anything for even a minute.
I’m posting this in the hope that anyone with experience living with a mother who has dementia might be able to offer advice or insights. Thank you in advance.

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書き込めなくなるまであと183日

#2

• Baikinman
• 2026/09/19 (Sat) 13:55
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Kirizo-san,

I’m in my late senior years, too, and I’m starting to show a few signs of “dementia.”

Does your mother have severe dementia? That must be really tough.

I hope someone in a similar situation reads this thread—I wonder if there’s anyone out there.


Is there anyone out there? ？ ？ ？

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#3

• サンシャイン
• mail
• 2026/09/21 (Mon) 05:02
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After my friend retired, his wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.
In the early stages, there weren’t many problems, but as the disease progressed, she began wandering around the neighborhood and was taken in by the police several times, so we installed an interior lock on the door to prevent her from going out alone.

Eventually, she lost control of her bladder and bowels, so he had to put her in diapers and, when she soiled herself, carry her to the bathtub to wash her. It looked so difficult that I suggested he place her in a care facility, but but no matter how advanced his dementia was, there were times when he would return to his normal self. He feared we had abandoned him during those moments, and if we placed him in a facility, he would likely pass away within a few months to a year. So he refused to listen, insisting he wanted to care for him himself and see him off.
After that, he had a nursing bed installed at home through his insurance provider, Kaiser, and would go over to help whenever he needed assistance.

I’d sent four children to college, so I had no financial leeway and was constantly working.
Since I’d left everything related to the children and the household to my wife, and hadn’t really repaid her for all she’d done, I told her I’d do everything I could to care for her. A few years later, my wife passed away.
Watching her, it seemed less like she was truly alive and more like she was simply being kept alive; when she passed away, he said he had no regrets because he’d done everything he could, but I felt that I could never do the same.

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#4

• Baikinman
• 2026/09/28 (Mon) 11:29
• Report

Sunshine,

That friend of yours is a wonderful person. I wonder if I could do something like that...

In our household, it’s the other way around—I’m starting to lose my mind, and sometimes I end up being a burden to my wife.

I “forget” things every now and then, and my wife—who’s a feisty one—gives me a real earful, but

since there’s nothing I can do about it, she puts up with it. She’s a great wife.

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#1

• 我
• mail
• 2022/11/16 13:08

Gone again ？

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書き込めなくなるまであと183日

#4456

• 🤮
• Yesterday 11:54
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今日もまだテキストが続いている。
私テキスト全く読んでない、開いてもない、とか、もう何も送って来ないで、って何度も言ったにも関わらず、まだしつこく送って来る理由がわからなくて、頭の中は😣？？？だった。
この人、友達でも何でもなくて、ダークトライアドの人間だったんだって事がわかってからは
送り続けられる嫌がらせメールの目的がはっきりした。
相変わらず今週のレッスンの予定だろうけど、

カウントダウン5️⃣リマインダー
とか
TPOをわきまえた話題ができない人は...
とか送ってきている。前は本当に訳わからなかったけど、私をコントロールしようとしているんだってわかってからは、気持ち悪さと不気味さしか感じない。
レッスンなんてもう何週間も行っていないのに、まだ私が来ると思ってるんだ。

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#4459

• 🤮
• Today 00:35
• Report

彼女は全くダークトライアドの人間には見えない。
可愛らしい声で、ハーイ！と顔見知りに手を振りながら歩き、とてもフレンドリー。
私の周りは彼女に好印象を持っている人ばかり。
だけどブスの件で激昂してからは私を罵り、非難し続け、私の横に来て嫌味を言い捨てて立ち去る。
私が咄嗟に彼女を追いかけて、いい加減にしてよ！もう私に近付かないで！と声を荒げるので、周りの人たちは、私が彼女を虐めていると思っている。

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#4464

• 🤮
• Today 06:27
• Report

カウントダウン4️⃣というテキストを送ってきた。
ただただ気持ち悪い

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#4465

• 🤮
• Today 06:36
• Report

この、ターゲットにロックオンしてコントロールしていく過程になってから、全く話が通じなく、こちらの言っている事に全く耳を傾けてくれなくなるのって、ダークトライアドの人たち独特の特徴だ。
人が、やめて！と言っているのが伝わらない。普段はいい人の振りをしているけれど、一度ターゲットを定めると、タゲられた側が幾ら、やめてよ！近付かないで！と言っても全く通じない。
普通、もう距離を置きたいと思ったら、離れたり連絡しなくなったりするものだけれど
こういう人たちって共感力というものがなくて、こちらが幾ら嫌がっても、男女関係なくストーカーみたいに執着して放してくれない、離れてくれない。

また今、
あなたは公衆の面前でブッ飛んだ。何て恥知らずなの？とかってテキストしてきた。

本当に、本当に気持ち悪い。最悪なのは周りが彼女に同情して、私が彼女を虐めていると思っている事。

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#4466

• 😰
• Today 06:39
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生徒さんの事が心配。ただただ善意の人で、レッスン中にレストランに行く事を提案してくれたり( 食事中も授業料が発生するという事。私が、レッスンと食事は別と言ったら、後から彼女が酷く怒った。普通の感覚だったら、レストランでご馳走してもらってその上授業料も払わせるだなんてあり得ない。)
彼持ちでイベントとかに連れて行ってくれようとして、私たち二人分のチケットも取ってくれると言っていた。彼女はとても甘え上手、お願い上手。
まだ若く、勉強熱心で、日本大好きな彼が傷つくような事にならなければいいけど、どうしたらいいかわからない。

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#1

• SS
• mail
• Yesterday 09:21

SSリタイアメントベネフィットを受け取られてる方、受け取りを申し込まれたのは何歳でしたか。
もし良かったら理由と、感想を聞かせて下さい。
人其々なのは充分承知ですが、結果として良かったなどの感想に興味があります。
私はまだ受け取っていません。

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書き込めなくなるまであと182日

#1

• North Hills
• mail
• 2026/10/05 12:35

来年　2027　ukulele international 無事 開催 されるんでしょうか？

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書き込めなくなるまであと181日

#2

• DOWNTOWN
• 2026/10/05 (Mon) 14:47
• Report

Ukulele Festival Hawaiiのことかな？

7月11日2027年に開催されると、発表されてますが。

#3

• North Hills
• 2026/10/05 (Mon) 21:54
• Report

ロックバンド「サザンオールスターズ」のベーシスト関口和之(70)が代表取締役を務める音楽関連会社「のほほん」が、東京国税局から約5億8千万円の申告漏れを指摘されたことについて4日、同社の公式サイトで謝罪した。また、バンドの所属事務所「アミューズ」も声明を発表した。

#4

• North Hills
• 2026/10/05 (Mon) 21:56
• Report

ボランティアで お手伝いする人 大変ですね

#1

• おはな
• 2026/10/02 17:50

今年新患でファミリードクターの予約を取られた方がいましたら教えてください。

新患の場合、ファミリードクターの予約を取るのに日にちがかかると聞きました。
ホノルル市内でどれくらい先に予約が取れましたか？
もちろん、ドクターによって違うと思いますが、経験者の方いらっしゃいましたら教えてください。

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書き込めなくなるまであと180日

#2

• なな
• 2026/10/04 (Sun) 14:40
• Report

HMSAやカイザーに直接電話したほうが早いですよ。

新患を受付してくれるドクターを紹介してくれるので、数名、電話してみましょう。

#1

• Noa
• mail
• 2026/10/02 02:58

とあるハワイの会社(日系メディア系)で社員の個人のSNSの利用でアカウントをやめなければ即日解雇と社長の独断でなったそうです。
そのようなことはできる、される、のでしょうか。。。

前提として業務時間中にやっていたわけでもなく、何か不利益になることをしたわけでもないようです。
「24時間会社に忠実にいるべき（気に食わないから）」が理由のようです。。。

そんな昭和な発想の人がいるんですねという感想ですが、、、
もしそういう事例(ヤバイ会社)があったら教えて欲しいなと思い投稿です。
SNSなんて皆やっている時代ですのでね。。。

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書き込めなくなるまであと179日

#2

• 会社
• 2026/10/03 (Sat) 10:45
• Report

その会社は違法行為ですね。

SNSをしてるからと言って、解雇をする事は違法行為ですね。

強行しようとするなら、弁護士さんにご相談された方が良いですね。

#1

• D
• mail
• 2026/10/03 02:51

どんな人が貧乏臭いと感じますか？
皆さんの意見をお聞かせください。

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書き込めなくなるまであと179日

#2

• 友人の携帯から
• 2026/10/03 (Sat) 08:17
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人を叩いたり嘲笑うのがお好きな方がスレ立てしたんでしょうね。

#1

• ハラ
• mail
• 2026/09/25 16:06

I’m currently working at my first non-Nikkei company, in an environment with many Japanese and Asian employees. My boss isn’t used to managing people, so he gets flustered and takes his frustration out on those around him by yelling at them. He even yells at new hires who just started and don’t know anything yet, telling them “that’s not right” without any explanation.
I think this kind of situation would be considered power harassment in Japan, but is the term “power harassment” also used in English-speaking countries, and does it refer to situations like this? ？

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書き込めなくなるまであと176日

#2

• 会社
• 2026/09/26 (Sat) 08:27
• Report

This is a common issue at Japanese companies.

You should report this to the Labor Department.
In the U.S., if a company did something like that,
the company itself would be sued.

Please report this to the Labor Department.

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#3

• ハラ
• 2026/09/27 (Sun) 03:57
• Report

I'll look into how to report this to the Labor Bureau. Alternatively,
since the company is in the food and beverage industry and originally from Europe, I think I could report it directly to the company itself, so I'd like to consider that option, but I'm worried about whether my anonymity will be properly protected.

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#5

• ハラ
• 2026/09/27 (Sun) 15:14
• Report

Thank you, EEOC, for providing such specific details.
As I suspected, “power harassment” is a term coined in Japan and isn’t used in the U.S.
It’s certainly impossible to file a complaint without evidence. Moreover, since you can’t record conversations without the other person’s permission, it’s practically impossible unless the experience of workplace harassment is severe enough to cause mental distress and result in a doctor’s medical certificate.
I don’t plan on staying at this company much longer myself, but I feel sorry for the new hires and the other employees.

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#7

• クリフバー
• 2026/09/30 (Wed) 18:53
• Report

Mr. Hara

No, you can sue.

In both Japan and the United States, you can sue if conduct in the workplace constitutes another tort, such as assault, physical restraint, defamation, or acts that cause extreme mental distress.
Incidentally, “power harassment” is not an official legal term in Japan either



Regarding recordings, in Hawaii, if you are a party to the conversation, you can legally record it even without the other person’s permission.
The issue arises when you eavesdrop on a conversation in which you are not present.

Therefore, the explanation that recording without the person’s permission is illegal and that the case ends as soon as it is filed with the EEOC is also incorrect.

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#1

• お受験ママ
• mail
• 2025/02/03 04:36

We moved to Hawaii from the Bay Area last May and have two children, our oldest is now 3.5 years old and our youngest is 1.5 years old.
I was interested in Montessori education before my children were born, and while researching, I heard that
Montessori Community School in the Makiki area is a wonderful school. I saw that over 95% of the students go to Iolani or Punahou each year
through the Feeding School to Iolani or Punahou schools.
I know that it is very difficult to get into Montessori Community School as there are several topics on this site.
I would like to enroll my oldest son from Kinder and my youngest son from Pre, what should I do to prepare for the entrance exam?
We would like to know what kind of education and preparation you have done for your son who is currently attending the school.
We have contacted the school and are afraid that the admission rate is quite high.

My two sons will be living in Hawaii for at least 10 years, so I am hoping that they will be able to attend Iolani School or Punahou School in the future
We are hoping to attend Montessori Community School. I heard that another school, Hana Hau'oli, is also a feeding school, but
I heard that you have to have some kind of connection such as family connection or working to get in, but I have given up because I have no connections in Hawaii.
I would appreciate any information you can give me if you have taken the test for Puri or Kinder.

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書き込めなくなるまであと176日

#57

• MCS ALUMNIのママ
• 2026/01/30 (Fri) 07:04
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My son graduated from MCS and went from Middle to Punahou and graduated last year. He is now attending a state college in the Mainland.
Oh no, you can't compare Punahou to MCS. To be clear, MCS graduates have a very hard time getting to the top in Punahou.
The "pure gold Punahou kids" （ from Kinder ） are almost always at the top. At Punahou, we call the kids from Kinder "Punahou Kids".
80% of the students who went on to the Ivy League and the most prestigious colleges were also from Kinder.
MCS is a Montessori school, so academics are appropriate, and from about the 4th grade onward, children aiming for Punahou Middle must attend cram school or Tutor.
Don't expect to get into Punahou or Iolani just by taking MCS classes, the SSAT is very revealing.
Punahou, you need to be at least 90% on the SSAT after all these years of academic improvement.
When my son took the Middle, he got 80%. Anyway, Punahou and Iolani are not just the top two.
Once you get in, it's a matter of whether you can keep up with the Punahou kids or not. Anyway, there was a huge difference between the two schools, so as other parents have said, it is true that I had a hard time studying after I entered Punahou.

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#62

• チルチル
• 2026/02/22 (Sun) 04:10
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I had my son attend Monte until 6th grade and took the Punahou, Iolani, Mippa, and Merinol entrance exams, and he was rejected by Punahou and Iolani and is now attending Mippa.
To be honest, I had heard that 90% of the students could go to Punahou or Iolani if they attended Monte, and the school claimed that Monte's education was advanced and comparable to Punahou and Iolani without a tutor. However, when I took the public test （ the national test and the SSAT ） I found that the Monte students were not at that level, but at best Mippa and Merinol.
I was so surprised and impatient that I rushed to the individual tutor and Takahashi Juku. By the time I realized it, there were 8 months until the exam. I could never catch up with Punahou and Iolani level.
In the school year my child attended, 13 students took the exam and 3 were accepted to Punahou or Iolani, and 10, including my child, were not.
As others have said, many of the families who attend Monte are Monte believers （ really believing faith ）. It was my fault for being so relaxed and believing what they said and what the school claimed, but by the time I realized it, it was already too late.
The same people who come to speak at the Elementary panel every year as parents of alumni, the same people. For a long time now. Monte is a laid back, small school. The community is small because of the small number of families and the small number of students, and the information is skewed so that it is too late, as it is for me.
If you are considering Elementary at Monte, you will need tutors, etc. from 4th grade at the latest if you want to go to Punahou or Iolani from the middle.

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#63

• tomodachi
• 2026/05/16 (Sat) 06:17
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It's been a while since I've used Vivinavi's private sales and came across this page. My son was also MCS, he was there through 6th grade and took the middle exam but was rejected from Punahou, he did not take the exam to Iola and is attending another school. My child's best friend （, who was in Kinder through 6th grade ）, was accepted to Punahou, but she feels a huge gap in academic ability and is losing confidence. She feels that the kids from Kinder are incredibly smart at Punahou, and that what they are learning at Elementary is far beyond what they are learning at MCS. My child's best friend was at the top of his class at MCS, but after a few years at Punahou, he is still below average. I sent my child to MCS because I thought it was a good idea to give priority to what he liked and to nurture him, but this backfired when it came to aiming for the top schools. The number of students who have been accepted to Punahou and Iolani from MCS in the past few years has been less than 30%, and I think this is a testament to that. What I can say is that the academic level of Punahou and Iolani today is different from that of Punahou and Iolani more than 5 years ago, or maybe the academic level of MCS has dropped. It could be both. Since Punahou has gone up 5% SSAT in the last 3 years. We are planning to try again narrowly （ high school entry ） which only takes a few students because my kids are not satisfied with their current school. By the way, when I took the exam in 6th grade, the whole class had tutors and went to cram school. The school said that it was unnecessary ！, but if I didn't have a tutor, I wouldn't have been able to pass any of the entrance examinations.

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#64

• これからプリ
• 2026/05/16 (Sat) 08:49
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We have been fortunate enough to be able to attend MCS pre in August and are now considering whether to send our child to MCS. This year, it seems that all applicants were able to apply for pre, because we contacted them in early March, just before the acceptance announcement, rather than after the application deadline, and they told us that they would send out First Round notices but that there were still spots available and that they would accept our application if we submitted one. ！ We are also wondering whether Central Union, St. Clements, or MCS would be better for us to attend Punahou from Kinder. We have paid the deposit for all three schools, so we are keeping all three. The reason why I applied to MCS in March is because I thought that even if I fail the Kinder exam because of Elementary.................... I thought that even if I failed the Kinder test, I would still be able to go to Punahou, but it looks like my chances of going to Punahou are slim. Thank you all for the useful information to consider.

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#65

• takako
• 2026/09/30 (Wed) 05:02
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My daughter attends MCS’s Upper Elementary.
This year, MCS has fewer students than its capacity in both preschool and elementary school. You can still enroll even now. ！
The elementary school is constantly short on students and accepts applications year-round. Currently, there are only a handful of third graders, and while the school aims for 20 students per grade each year,
I’ve never seen a grade with 20 students.
Generally, the largest grade has only 12 or 13 students. The others have only around 10 students, and those are split into two classes—grades 1–3 in one class and grades 4–6 in another—
so the elementary school has a total of four classes for grades 1–6. There are only two teachers for three different grade levels. In any case, it is a fact that quality is declining due to a shortage of students, teachers, and facilities. Recently, only about two students have been accepted into Punahou’s middle school each year.
As others have noted, the acceptance rate to Punahou was 90% more than five years ago, but since about five years ago, Punahou’s academic standards have risen significantly compared to the past, so （ while the bar was already high, it now requires very high SSAT scores— and you won’t get in without a high percentile score. ） As long as MCS maintains its current educational program, it won’t be able to catch up to Punahou’s level. The school itself states that MCS is not a feeder school for Punahou. These days, many students from the middle school division end up going to mid-tier schools or charter schools.
If you’re considering enrolling your child at MCS with the goal of getting into Punahou after middle school, I think you should reconsider and look into a different school starting in kindergarten. Even at Hanahauoli, the acceptance rate to Punahou is only 60–70% these days. Our child entered preschool at MCS over five years ago, so we enrolled based on a 90% acceptance rate, and since this is the situation now while they’re still attending, we have no choice but to stay.

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#1

• 一心太助
• mail
• 2026/06/09 17:51

I think the ramen shop in Pacific Square was "Daisuke".
The portions were American size and I was full.
I remember there was also an udon shop somewhere with the same name.

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書き込めなくなるまであと175日

#8

• @倍金萬
• 2026/07/19 (Sun) 11:07
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Everyone, have you ever heard of a restaurant called “Kyushu Ramen”?

I think only people who lived here in the Valley\ (San Fernando Valley), but back then, the only Japanese restaurant in the Valley was “Benihana,” famous for its teppanyaki. That restaurant catered primarily to long-time American residents, mostly white people.

I was initially sent to this Valley as an expatriate employee of a Japanese company, and but the Japanese restaurants back then were filled almost exclusively with white and Latino customers. The menus focused on tempura ・, teriyaki ・, and sushi, and to me, the taste was so bad I’d think, “What is this?”—it was simply inedible.

So whenever I wanted to eat authentic Japanese food, I had to drive down the freeway all the way to Little Tokyo downtown.

A few years later, “Kyushu Ramen,” the first ramen shop in the Valley run by Japanese people, opened. Well, the taste wasn’t quite what I’d expected, but since there were no other ramen shops that “really” served ramen, I went there about once a week.

Also around that time, there was a Japanese celebrity’s U.S. office （—just a single-family home ）—in this valley, and it seems that celebrities who were frequently seen on Japanese TV at the time would often come by. Then, one time while I was slurping ramen at the aforementioned “Kyushu Ramen,” Namie Amuro—who was popular at the time—walked in with her local agent and sat down at the table next to mine, with her back to me. Well, I’m not a fan of hers or anything; I just wanted to mention that it happened.

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#9

• Almond
• 2026/09/17 (Thu) 02:02
• Report

My favorite ramen shop was a place called Menbei in Torrance.
The ingredients and flavor were great, and I could tell they took great care in preparing the food.
I especially liked the gyoza; they were fried to a golden brown without being burnt.
The filling, which had plenty of vegetables, was also right up my alley.

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#10

• 冷蔵君
• 2026/09/27 (Sun) 13:57
• Report

Almond
Men-Bei ！ That brings back memories. I used to love the Stamina Don. My daughter lives in San Jose, and she sent me a photo.
It showed the owner of Men-Bei hard at work. The restaurant is called Men-Bei Ramen. The address is 1349 Coleman Ave, Santa Clara, CA 95050. If I ever have a chance to be in the area, I’d love to go there and try the Stamina Don.

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#11

• Baikinman
• 2026/09/28 (Mon) 11:37
• Report

Is that Santa Clara, CA 95050?

That's a little too far.

Even getting to Gardena or Torrance can easily take an hour if the freeway is crowded.

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#12

• ヒザガクガク
• 2026/09/28 (Mon) 18:53
• Report

Oh, ！ so Menbei moved to the Bay Area, huh? I checked Yelp, and sure enough, the owner is ！

. By the way, if you use Street View to step inside Hakata Ikkosha, it’s actually Menbei （ lol ）
. It brings back so many memories. I used to love their mapo rice and gyoza.

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